During your match today at 4PM on Field #12 at Progin Park in Lancaster MA, I witnessed conduct so pathetic and barbaric from you both, I was compelled to write about it.
Let me start with a clear and unequivocal statement that I harbor no ill will against your team. There is no reason to involve them as they have earned the right to play and from today's result, will continue in the tournament.
My issue is with you both in bullying a seventeen year old girl about a decision she made. Bullying from a pair of late forty, early fifty men that was so persistent and so severe, it brought her to tears during and well after the match.
Bullying so grotesque it involved screaming by you, the lead coach, from the technical area and calling her decision "bull shit" and "what are you trying to do to us?" which persisted for several minuets with your arms raised as if a universal injustice was unfolding right before us.
It did not stop there however, until well after the match when you, the assistant coach, pulled her aside and told her "... I was a referee for 35 years and that was a serious decision you missed." Apparently the comment somehow was intended to have some weight to lessen the systemic bullying you heaped on this girl running the line in front of you, by saying something like "I've been there."
I find the premise pathetic, and if you really wanted to help you should have just walked away, or if you really felt compelled to say something like "I'm sorry I lost my head" or "I was a referee and know how hard it is. Thanks for all you are doing today" would have been fine thanks.
Please don't lower our craft by somehow thinking because you wore a referee badge at some time, you are obliged to offer free advise to any referee who strays from your vision of what should happen. Referees don't need that kind of help, from you, or anyone like you.
Referees, all referees, need coaching and support from those involved to allow them to learn the craft. Now you may feel that is somehow unfair to your team which may have a legitimate opportunity to be crowned the "best team in the state." Let me tell you something, if you are so overwhelmed with that goal such that you are willing to bring a seventeen year old to tears, I would opine your priorities are tremendously out of whack ... and if you think a trophy makes you "champions" you have missed the point completely.
Consider the twist if I were to dissent to your team if they missed a play on the ball or made a wrong decision. Imagine if I shouted from the touchline "you suck #whatever, that was a shitty touch." Can you imagine the fallout if I continued my hypothetical pathetic tirade until she cried. But not to be deterred I had another person with me to say, "It's okay, you were really that bad and I used to play, so I know."
Of course it is not okay.
So why do you both think it is okay to do this to a seventeen year old girl who is serving the game as a referee??
A critical point you both have likely failed to consider is you have likely ended this referees career with your bullying. I can say this because I spoke to her for a while after and she has no real interest in coming back to get screamed at again. I don't blame her and I hope I am wrong, but at the very least, she will not be back tomorrow.
Over 50% of referees didn't come back after two years due largely to "above the game arrogance" like you both demonstrated today. If that was your goal, well done, you have likely succeeded.
In conclusion, I find your collective behavior boorish. For a forty or fifty something to berate a seventeen year old girl to tears and only stop when an adult was present for concern about "getting yelled at" as you stated when the field marshall approached, is a special kind of bully. I can only imagine what the parents of your players would think to see you bring that girl to tears.
I'm fairly certain it's not "what a role model our coaches are."